


flowers of love

by glorybringer



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Blood, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, as always: i dont know how to tag, implied leokasa, leo and natsume: had never interacted and probably never will, me: dont worry i got this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 14:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9186032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glorybringer/pseuds/glorybringer
Summary: There’s nothing left. Just Leo, slipping from his fingers like dust, and flowers. So, so many flowers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first time i write hanahaki i dont know what im doing. im sorry. im so sorry. also this ship doesnt exist so of course i lvoe it. of course  
> thank you dorothy for proofreading this you're a star!!  
> lacey, if you read this: dotn block me

"Here is the truth: It is hard to be in love with someone who is in love with someone else. I don’t know how to turn that into poetry."

Clementine von Radics, **Untitled**  


 

The pile of books on the desk is about to fall down and make the world tremble. Just like he's doing. Natsume’s hands shiver while he turns the pages, violently, with anger, looking for something that refuses to show up.  
He’s on the point of tearing the pages apart, overwhelmed and frustrated.  
It should be there. It has to be there, somewhere, ink on blank pages, but for once all the spells he has collected through the years are useless.  
_Useless, useless, useless._  
Even the thing he has always believe in betrays him.  
A scream dies in his throat, he kicks the desk, books are scattered on the floor.  
He breaths heavily, he holds onto his chest; there, under the skin, something is blooming. Slowly and painfully.

_Magic can heal anything but love._

000.

It started as a bothersome itchiness on the back of his throat, something he didn't mind that much at first. He couldn't breath properly either, so he decided it to call it a cold and forget about it.  
It was annoying, feeling sick and skipping practice, but Tsumugi told him to take care of himself and maybe - just maybe - his awful senpai wasn't that wrong for once. Maybe he just needed some rest. 

He didn't get better. If anything, he got worse. Feeling constantly tired, constantly on the verge of suffocating, and he doesn't remember when he noticed it but his symptoms always seemed to get unbearable whenever a certain person was around. 

That person has the name of Leo Tsukinaga. 

000.

Natsume knew about Leo Tsukinaga, of course, the _King_ who felt so courageous to challenge the _Emperor_. The _King_ who's fallen. The _King_ who had run away like a coward leaving his _knights_ behind.  
Leo Tsukinaga was, indeed, one of the people who most needed a happy ending. One of the people Natsume was fighting for.  
His knowledge about Leo was just rumors going around the school, until the day the lost appeared again at Yumenosaki.  
They met one day, surrounded by the kitties Leo takes care of. It was a weird way to meet the ferocious King: Leo was there, kitties on his lap, one making its way on his shoulders. He was smiling peacefully, kind of an ethereal presence more than a scary King ready to unleash his sword at any time.  
A bright smile, like the sun, a lively laughter, a loud voice.  
Leo Tsukinaga is one of those people you meet and make you think that there’s still something good in the world, that there’s still something worth living for.

000.

Natsume is sitting on the floor of the bathroom, coughing. It's been almost a week now. His vision is blurry, even the simple act of moving causes him pain. His whole body aches. 

And that's when he notices it, lost on his hands, a drop of blue. 

A petal. 

000.

Getting to know Leo was quite an experience. He had to admit it, Leo was indeed an interesting person. Annoying, sometimes, too loud, but looking at him lost in his own world was a pleasant show. Natsume has often wondered what was going on in the mind of a genius, but Leo was careful to not show and good at hiding. He hid everything behind the biggest and brightest smiles, behind luminous emerald eyes, behind lovely tales he created on the spot when his imagination took over and Natsume couldn’t do anything to stop him from talking. About anything. About aliens, and fairies, and princesses, and princes, and worlds no one else could reach nor understand.  
But that was what was fascinating about Leo. 

000.

 _It can’t be true._

That’s the only thing Natsume can think of. Wide eyes stare in horror at the amounts of petals that lies on the floor. It can’t be happening to him.  
Natsume is well aware of what the consequences are: give up to feel love ever again or give up on your life.  
Colorful petals cruelly laugh at him whilst he feels more of them rising and burning inside him. There’s nothing beautiful in how pitiful he feels, nothing poetic in the way the flowers tell him that no matter how much he loves, he will never be loved back.

000.

Love is what makes the world go around.  
And Natsume can see it all around him. He can see it even where he doesn’t want to.  
Usually, it would make him happy, knowing he lives in a world filled with love. It would make him feel at peace, it would curve his lips in a smile, it would make him feel like his life is going in the right direction.

But his life is going wrong. He doesn’t know which wrong turn he’s taken, but everything is falling into pieces: hopes, dreams, he himself. 

Love is all around Leo. Who wouldn’t love a person like him, after all, a person who brings light wherever he goes. And Leo has love, so much love inside him, but not the type of love Natsume needs to survive. Not for him, anyway.

It hurts whenever Leo hugs him and tells him he loves him.  
_Stop._  
It hurts when Leo laughs in his ears and place a kiss on his cheeks.  
_Stop._  
It hurts when Leo calls him across the corridor, when his voice sing-songs “Natsu!” longing for his attention.  
_Stop._  
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts. 

_Natsume can see it in Leo’s smile when he greets the youngest of Knights. Natsume can see it in Tsukasa’s eyes when they fall on Leo._  
He can see it. He can see it. And he can feel the flowers, they can’t rest, they cannot sleep, this is too much. They want to fight back, they want to live, they want to bloom and reach the light that comes from Leo. It doesn’t matter how much Natsume admonishes them and repeats that that warmth is not for them, it doesn’t matter, nothing really matters.  
He takes his leave, he’s not needed, he rushes to the bathroom, he flushes flowers down the toilet. They’re not just petals anymore. He sees blood and he vaguely remembers that that’s the signal: the point of no return.  
There’s nothing left. Just Leo, slipping from his fingers like dust, and flowers. So, so many flowers. 

000.

Tsumugi is the first one who finds out, one day, at school, in the secret room they share.  
“Don’t touch THEM!” Natsume says, out of breath, when he sees Tsumugi is about to pick up a morning glory from the ground.  
Tsumugi stops mid air, turning back at him, “Natsume-kun,” he simply says. There’s sadness in his eyes. Natsume can’t stand it. “Who are these flowers for?”  
“Does it really MATTER?” Natsume replies.  
“It does!” Tsumugi yells and Natsume is taken aback “They’re killing you! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?! Why you,” teary eyes look back on the mess that’s surrounding them.  
Natsume laughs bitterly “You could have done NOTHING. And for once, it would have not been your FAULT.” he adds, a tiny smile curving his lips.  
“But… But you…”  
“It’s too late, SENPAI.” Natsume sighs, as if they’re not talking about his life. He looks down at his own hands, dirty with blood. _Too late, too late, too late_. “Don’t tell Sora, OKAY? I don’t want him to get WORRIED. You should take care of HIM, and-”  
Tsumugi gets closer and put his hands on Natsume’s shoulders. He puts his forehead against Natsume’s, as tears roll down his cheeks. “I don’t want to let you die,” Tsumugi voice is broken, it’s painful to listen at “I’m here because I want to help you. I’m here because I wanted to help you become a splendid idol. If you… If you…” Natsume stays still, afraid to move, afraid to even attempt to breath, afraid - for once - to say something wrong. Tsumugi hides his face on Natsume’s shoulder, moving his arms to bring them around Natsume’s waist. Tsumugi pulls Natsume closer, holding him tight. “Don’t leave. Promise me you won’t leave.” 

But Natsume doesn’t reply. 

000.

Natsume can’t recall the last time he had a peaceful night. He can’t rest as his lungs are clogged up with flowers. Beautiful colors that mean hopeless love, unrequited love, a love that will never be satisfied. There are some flowers he has never seen before, but he decided to not look up their meanings. That would have been nothing but a way to make the pain worse.  
If he’s lucky enough, this won’t last much longer.  
He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and then gathers courage to look at himself in the mirror. What he sees in the reflection doesn’t surprise him: he’s slowly destroying himself. But what is he supposed to do? Seeking for help? No one can do anything and it’s far too late anyway. If he realized his feelings earlier, would this whole situation be different? Would Leo look at him the same way he looks at Tsukasa?  
Natsume lets out a soft laugh.  
“That’s PATHETIC.” he mutters “You want to bring people HAPPINESS, but you can’t be happy for THEM. What kind of person you are, MH?” 

000.

“Natsu!”  
Leo’s voice reaches his ears and Natsume feels like he’s going to collapse at any moment. He fakes a smile as he sees the King approaching him. “Natsu! Are you okay? I haven’t seen you around lately! I asked Tsumu and he said you were sick, ah! Do you feel any better?”  
Tsumugi didn’t completely lie: he is really sick, after all. And the reason of his sickness is right in front of him, looking at him with worrying on his face.  
If Leo would stop, this wouldn’t been so painful. Maybe this would be better if Natsume could just forget about Leo. The flowers in his lungs would die if he deletes all of his memories with Leo. All the afternoons spent together, that time Leo really believed Natsume gave him a lethal potion, Leo writing on Natsume’s hands, Leo smiling at him.  
Leo.  
Natsume looks at him and he knows, he can’t erase him. He just can’t.  
“Mh-MH. I’m feeling better.” _Liar._ The flowers in his chest twist as if they want to punish him for not saying the truth. “I’m going HOME noW-” he slaps a hand over his mouth, unable to finish his sentence, wide eyes. Gold that melts and falls down all at once.  
“Natsu!”  
It’s too late. It’s too late it’s too late it’s too late. The flowers are killing him. Not now of all times, not now, he begs, but the garden inside him ignores him and spills out.  
He didn’t want Leo to see. He didn’t want Leo’s eyes to look at him this way. Leo blinks once, twice, emerald eyes run from the flowers to Natsume. There’s something aside from worrying, it’s confusion and Natsume would laugh if he could: that’s so like Leo. Does he even know what’s going on? Does the King who’s always lost in his own world have idea of what he’s going through?  
“Natsu…”  
“Stay AWAY from ME.” harsh words flow out of his mouth before he can stop them and he can see the glimpse of pain that flashes in Leo's eyes. Natsume hates it and it makes the flowers in his body twist, turning him into a gruesome piece of art, a composition of flowers that make no sense anymore. His heart aches and it's not just the payback for hurting Leo ( _Leo, so dear, Leo, so cheerful, Leo, always so alive, like the sun, always shining, Leo, overwhelming, intoxicating Leo, Leo, Leo_ ) but thorns are piercing his insides. He's going to suffocate. He's going to die in a mess of blood and petals. That's not how he imagined his death, not for something like this, not for something like love.  
This is not a happy ending.  
“I,” Natsume tries to say something, but talking hurts, moving hurts, he starts coughing again, violently. He covers his mouth with his hands and through the tears in his eyes he can see Leo getting closer, Leo worried for him. Leo wishes to help him but he just causes him more pain.  
_Stay away from me,_ he wants to say it again, he really wants to, but the words die inside him, just like his will to fight.  
He runs away from the classroom - Leo, behind him, yells his name. It's painful, it's so painful. He drags himself to his secret room, his safe place, and he’s never been this glad his senpai isn’t here.  
He’s alone, alone with the hyacinths that tumble down his mouth. _How fitting._

If this was a tale, he thinks, it would be perfect. Sometimes Magicians have to use all of their power and annihilate themselves in order to save their King. 

000.

“Natsume-kun…? Natsume-kun!”

**Author's Note:**

> ookay. okay bye  
> hmu on twitter @natsumugiis


End file.
